worldly apology - by lydia macias

Dear world,

 I’m reaching out to you now because there is something on my chest. Something I’ve been living with, something to confess. Don’t be worried or scared or mad, it’s just an apology, nothing too bad. 

To begin with, I’m sorry for myself. Sorry that the person I’d be great as never showed. I guess I felt like hiding, you can call me a coward. I’ve always felt like hiding, always sulking in the shadows. And I tried to be something more, oh I swear I did. Something worth looking at, something worth a glimpse. But not only did my looks not meet the standards bar, I’m also sorry for my personality, it wasn’t very large. My skills weren’t very impressive and neither were my hobbies, nothing I ever do or did could ever impress my mommy.

 Oh. 

What was that? 

I didn’t say mommy did i?

 I meant.. the world. 

For the world has high expectations, none of which I meet. The world is going crazy, and not because of me. I’ve never made an impact , either good or bad. The only thing I’m good at is making people mad. It’s okay though, I promise, I’m good at hiding pain. Cause when my heart is breaking, there’s a smile on my face. But please don’t worry , my heart breaks too easily. I know sometimes It sounds bad but nothing I’m not used to taking. So once again, I’m sorry, and I do hope you forgive me, because another moment more and the world starts looking better off without me. But then I’m shown small things, small things that catch my gaze and I’m stuck again in the endless cycle of apologizing each day.

You’re sweet sometimes, you know? And I do love the view. 

You know what? 

 I’ll stay.. just for you, 

but please world,

won’t you write back soon?