DAY 13 30/03/2020
Dear diary,
I thought it’d be a good idea to document how I’m feeling throughout the madness of lockdown and how I’m coping with this new reality. Boris says that it’ll just be three weeks but I’ll be surprised if we’re out before June, the holiday to Maga is definitely gone that’s for sure.
I feel foggy, if I’m being completely honest; and for the sake of this exercise I should. I’m half tired and half bored all the time. I feel as though I’m walking around with a constant headache, one that isn’t bad enough to outwardly complain about but enough to painfully remind you that it’s always there.
I miss my friends.
I didn’t realise that the last time I saw them would be the last time. I arrogantly assumed that we would be able to go back to school after the holidays. I always like to naively assume that bad things could never possibly happen to me, I guess it’s easier that way.
I’m bored out of my mind.
Since exams are cancelled, I no longer have a goal to work towards. School and all the structure and normalcy I’ve ever had in my life is just gone.
Poof. Just like that.
DAY ___
Dear diary,
I’ve lost track of the days already. What’s the point when every day is exactly the same as the last. All I know is that it's 11 o’clock at night I’m alone in my room and I just burst out crying. Completely out of nowhere, nothing sad or traumatic had happened that day, it was as mundane and boring as the last but for some reason I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I feel exhausted, overwhelmed and utterly out of control.
I feel like I can’t breathe, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.
DAY 20 06/04/2020
Dear diary,
The days are still droning on but I’m no longer feeling like I’m being crushed underneath them. I decided to dress up today, wake up early, wear some makeup and put on some real clothes today. I put on my favourite pair of jeans that I finished embroidering the other day and take some nice pictures in my room, that I’ll probably post on Instagram.
I feel more productive today. As I’m writing this entry I’m sitting down in my garden, the sun on my face. The ghost of a smile creeps onto my lips and I feel more relaxed, contented even. I’d finished sorting out my accommodation and student finance earlier today and I feel as though everything is finally coming together. As much as I’m excited to start the new chapter of my life at Cardiff met, I’m still holding onto the chance of having a half decent summer with my friends before that happens.
By Morola Oyefesobi